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  #81  
Old 05-16-2010, 10:46 PM
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Jayson73 Jayson73 is offline
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Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.
The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the “Soft and Gentle” was.“That'd be $2.50,” said the clerk. “Too much,” mumbled the Indian, “how about the 'Gentle'?” “That one's $2,” answered the clerk. “Still too much,” complained the Indian, “anything cheaper?” “Welllll,” replied the clerk, “We do have a non-branded kind.” “What non-branded mean?” asked the Indian. “It means it doesn't have a name, and it's only 50 cents.” “Me take that,” said the Indian.
The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, “Me have name for non-branded toilet paper.” “Oh,” says the clerk, “what's the name?” “Me call it John Wayne... it's rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.”
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  #82  
Old 05-24-2010, 02:22 AM
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows the cue ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
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  #83  
Old 05-24-2010, 12:38 PM
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innuendo innuendo is offline
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haha good one!
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Hopes of the young in troubled graves
'I see no day' I heard him say
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  #84  
Old 06-07-2010, 03:01 AM
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What do George Michael and Wellington Boots have in common?

They both get sucked off in bogs.
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  #85  
Old 06-22-2010, 11:50 PM
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Matty35 Matty35 is offline
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Whats the most sensitive part of the body when masturbating?

Your ears, listening for footsteps!
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